Saturday, April 19, 2008

Psh.....Me? Shy?

After my las post a lot of people have questioned me about my shyness. They can't seem to believe that I could ever be shy. I say just ask any of the people who knew me at the age of 14 or before. I was so painfully shy when I was little. I remember going to meet my kindergarten teacher and she asked me what my younger brothers name and I buried my head in my mom's lap and sobbed. She had to walk out of the school with my head buried in her lap clinging to her leg. Then when I moved to New Jersey I remember the the counselor in the Bishopric would tease me about asking me to give a talk. I remember balling and having it ruin my entire week. I said the prayer once in sacrament meeting and then cried for the next two hours. I was just so painfully shy that I really wouldn't talk to many people at all. I remember the day I came out of my shell. I was 14 years old and we were cleaning the Bishop's storehouse and I was singing a dumb song and dancing a little, and everyone was all over me saying they had never seen that side of me before. They laughed at me, and I guess that is all it took and I was off, and now I am the person that you all know today. Hopefully none of you are regretting it. I don't think I could imagine myself as the person I used to be. However if there is ever a time when I am out of my element, new place or new people I totally close myself off again, before I feel I can trust the people and situation. Then when I feel that they are confident in who I am, I will let more and more of myself show, and then leave people wondering how I was ever the shy person that they first met.

I will admit that I am a little weird, and people who see both sides of me wonder why I am such a different person depending on the circumstances. I guess the reasoning is that I feel like I need to hide that part of me until I feel safe with certain people and then I feel confident enough to let small parts of my true self show until I feel like they will accept me.....and when they do.....then they are in for a real treat!!

1 comment:

Teddy and Scotty said...

Well if it makes you feel any better, I never once thought you came off shy from the very moment I met you in the airport on the way to Ecuador. If I had to describe your personality, it would be absolutely hilarious, outgoing, and the best laugh ever! Love ya babe! Glad you came out of that shell.