Friday, May 2, 2008

The Dark

The dark has always been something that for ages people have feared. The dark spawns monsters and nightmares, and unforeseen terrors. So what is the cause of all these dark and morbid creations that seems to invade the imagination of both the old and young the minute the lights go out? What is it that the human race is so scared of? I would have to come to the conclusion that what we can’t see or foretell scares many of us beyond what should be in reason. I am referring to the dark in how we look towards the future. The future at times may seem rather bleak, but I think that it is our minds and the fear of the unknown that keeps many of us bound to a life of redundancy. This may not be a bad thing, many people prefer a life without the weird twists and turns that many people seem to invoke upon themselves. I am one of those people myself. I hate change. I hate the unknown. I hate the dark.

So why is it that the dark is something that brings out so much in me? Why is it that when I am in the dark I tend to bear my soul to any awaiting person that is willing to listen to me? When in the light of day they would never in a million years be able to pry it out of me. I believe that the dark is something that makes me feel vulnerable (that scared of the unknown feeling) and when you are feeling vulnerable your mind starts spinning and your thoughts tend to run away with you. What better timing to divulge your most inner feelings then when you are feeling vulnerable and scared. You are then looking for someone to make you feel safe and secure again. And how do I personally feel safe and secure again? Obviously by expressing my worries, heartaches, and troubled thoughts. Reaching out to someone in hopes that they may be the person to eliminate my worries and fears and tell me that, yes, life has its dark moments but that the sun WILL shine tomorrow and we must look forward to those days.

There have been a few instances in my life of soul bearing. I used to walk up to the Rexburg temple every Sunday night with my friend Janet. It was there that we would sit and talk about the deepest of topics. Also a night after I went running with my friend Nikelle we sat on our front porch and I told her everything. She cried, and now refers to it as the time when our hearts connected. One night after a date in December we sat in his car for 2 hours outside my apartment, and we ended up telling each other the depths of our hearts. It was the absolute best date I had ever been on. He was amazing!!

Often times I leave my apartment when it’s dark and or take a walk in the dark and just think and contemplate my life, sometimes I try to analyze it and try to figure out who I really am? I think that the depths of your soul is so much deeper than you could ever fully emerge yourself in. It is truly life’s quest to find out who you truly are and what you ultimately can become. The dark seems to seek out its own in bringing out that which is buried within the dark recesses of your soul.


Matt Schultz said...

How fitting that you posted this blog while you were at my place right before you and Annie borrowed The Ring. . . muahahahahah!! I betcha look at the dark with even more trepidation now, eh? :)

Cornfields, children and waterballet said...

This is a very deep post! I had never really thought about the dark like this!

I do do well talking to Daren in the dark and's safer that way sometimes.

Teddy and Scotty said...

LOVE your thoughts. You are a sweetheart. I will be thinking about that all day.

Sarah said...

I like your new back ground. It's simple and classy.

Anonymous said...

Oh kate,
it's so cute! I don't really know how to run this thing, but I'll figure it out someday.

I love you!!!
and we're coming to IF someday...

Anonymous said...

oh, p.s.
this is ay